neuro-positivity:

jacobs-jottings:

-”What the heck is that noise?” a question I ask 10x a day.  

-”Emotions? What are those?” *5 mins later* “Oh no, I’m so sad!”

-’Jake, why are you shouting?’ “I’M NOT SHOUTING!… oh” 

-”Today is gonna be such a good day!” *someone speaks to me* “Oh god I was so wrong… back to bed for me!” 

-’Why is your room so messy?’ “I HAVE A SYSTEM! Everything has a place!” 

-*stays up till 4am watching/reading SpIn related stuff* “It was worth it!” 

-*someone does a thing that messes with my senses* “Could you just… not be here any longer? Thanks!” 

-’Would you like a hug?’ “Lemme check my sensory schedule…” *brings out elaborate star chart* “Uh… Mercury says no, sorry, maybe next time!” 

-“Ah, good autism gods, will it be a meltdown, shutdown, or panic attack today?”

-”DO NOT TOUCH ME” *a day later* “OH LORD I WANT A HUG!” 

-”Oh is that a song?” *Must sing/dance even though I’m not good at either.*

-”Me? Stimming throughout a film? Well what else would I do?”

-“Heatwave you say?” *continues to wear long sleeves and jeans all summer*

-”Did you know [INSERT KNOWLEDGE]?” ‘Jacob, have you been watching QI again? “Uh… who is this Jacob you speak of, I am fact-man… master of stuff”

-”Oh, I don’t feel like talking” *info dumps for an hour anyway* 

-”Well I haven’t watched Doctor Who in a while…” *hears new theme* “I WOULD DIE FOR DOCTOR WHO, I AM THE BIGGEST FAN, AND I SHALL NOW TELL YOU EVERYTHING I KNOW ABOUT IT!” [applies to most old SpIns tbh]

-”Today was perfect… too perfect…” *autism gods laugh from above* “Oh no…”

-”I have to eat again?” ‘yes’ “BUT… I REMEMBERED TO EAT YESTERDAY!”

-*realises sadness was in fact prolonged hunger* “Oh… this food stuff is good”

-”Well! Goodnight everyone! I’m so tired, gotta go!” *goes to bed, with tablet armed full of SpIn content… once again does not sleep till 4am*

-”Spoons? In this economy?” 

-”I’ll write down the thing so I don’t forget it!” *forgets to write the thing*

-”THE SUNRISE WAS SO NICE” ‘Jake… did you not sleep at all again?’

-“When will the autism mother-ship come back for me?” *weeps because NTs are so exhausting to share an existence with* “PLEASE TAKE ME BACK!” 

-*makes witty joke* *laughs at own joke* *nobody else laughs*

-”But you said we were gonna go?” ‘plans change Jake’ *brooding sadness*

-”Oh sure, I can do the sarcasm… watch” *success* *someone replies with sarcasm* *I do not understand them* 

-*Error, socialskills.exe was not found* “AH! I DELETED IT AGAIN” 

-”Do you know this horrifying fact?” “well you do now!” 

-”Please stop talking to me, I’m trying to daydream to cope with being here” 

-*NT is not nice* “Oh dear autism gods, why did I try making friends?” 

-’you were only diagnosed this year?’ “That’s right!” ‘what if you’re not really autistic?’ “HOW DARE YOU! *5 minutes later* “NOT REALLY AUTISTIC? WHAT HAPPENS IN MY BRAIN IS NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS!” [Yes, a B99 ref!]

-’So, do you have a lot of SpIns?’ *My evil laugh begins* ‘Oh no’ “OH YES- BEHOLD THE MANY SpIns, all 800 of them! Be free my SpIns!”

-”Hey, can I info-dump to you?” ‘yes’ *falls in love* 

-”Oh, I actually like this NT” ‘Why do you like me?’ “did I say that out loud?” 

-”YOU HAVE A PET? YOU ARE NOW MY FRIEND! SO IS YOUR PET!”

-*arrives somewhere very late, very tired* ‘So what kept you up this time, the lingering thoughts, the hyperactive mind, or SpIns?’ “All three…” 

-’I think you might be over-analysing this’ “First of all, how dare you, second of all, you are infringing on my rights as a self-titled pro over-analysing autistic” 

-’Wow, you’re surprisingly good at this social stuff’ “Uh…” *masking crumbles*

-’Were you looking at me?’ “Oh, no, just staring into the void!”

-”I love Christmas! All the shiny lights! The presents! The love!” ‘aren’t those the things that usually overwhelm you?’ “Hey, I don’t make the autism rules.” 

-*sees someone I have not seen since before my diagnosis* ‘So were you always autistic, or?’ *looks into the camera like I’m on The Office*

-*feels a nice texture* “Ooo, that’s some good kush”

-*plays very loud music, is not overwhelmed* *someone speaks outside the house very quietly* “Here comes the Meltdown baby! Best be ready!”

-*Plane flies overhead- v. loud!* “THIS IS THE BAD PLACE” [yes, a TGP ref]

-”You think I have an attention span?” *cry-laughs* *retreats to bedroom*

-’Jacob is a little sensitive… a little different…’ “JUST SAY I’M AUTISTIC!” 

-”Maybe if I pretend the things that make me feel bad don’t exist, they’ll vanish from existence!” *things still exist* *meltdown has been scheduled for now*

-’Are those yesterday’s clothes?’ “Oh! No! I have duplicates of all my comfiest  clothes, don’t you?” ‘No…’ “AUTISM MOTHER-SHIP WHERE ARE YOU?!” 

-’You handle stress quite well!’ “Thanks, I’ve been doing it all my life!” 

-’Coordination?’ “Did you mean no coordination?”

-”You’re autistic/ND too?” ‘yeah’ “Let’s be friends!” *finds best friend* 

-’would you like a cure for autism?’ “Oh my sweet summer child, they can try to cure me all they like, but I will still be here, wreaking havoc… also, fuck no” 

feel free to add some of your own!

BIG MOOD